Let's talk please, you don't have to do this! I’ll pay my own ransom!

[TIL #22] Jumping into the void: it’s not about the metaphor

I was on a small plane and as the man behind me was about to push me through the door and send me into the void, i wanted to scream and beg for mercy — don’t do this, please, let’s talk, i can pay my own ransom, you don’t have to do this. But i said not a word and resigned myself to my fate.

On a beautiful day of November last year, i jumped off a plane. A few months earlier, about at the time when i had decided to leave my job with no other income source lined up, i’d bought a ‘skydiving experience’. In my mind, there was some sort of a parallel between two things that both consisted in a jump into the unknown and caused a high level of excitement.

Come the day, everyone at the airfield was friendly — the smiles and the calm were making the whole thing feel almost as trivial as riding a bicycle. The experienced skydiver who was taking care of me inspired trust. When the plane was ascending, after repeating the instructions, he switched to jokes — ‘I know that it is your first time, but don’t worry, it is the second jump for me’, he would say (he later confirmed that he’d actually jumped over 10.000 times). It was funny. And my fear was intense.

And the moment came when i became part of the sky for a minute. And if it felt like falling into the nothingness, it is because it is exactly what it was: i was free-falling, there was nothing to hold on to.

Now, this experience might serve as a metaphor for many a thing. You could attach a « get out of your comfort zone » quote to it. You could see it as a lesson in the crucial importance of reliable partners (and gear!). Or it could be read as an encouragement to face your fears and embrace the uncertainty of life. All valid points that altogether form a good list of healthy practices. A comfort zone can become as lethal to creativity as it is cosy. When you learn to tame the anxiety so that it does not turn into a paralysing obstacle, you may find that fear can serve as a compass : if something scares you, they say, it may be a sign that you have to do it… And there’s no doubt that a group jump could be a great way to strengthen bonds.

Jumping off a plane is also just what it is: the physical act of jumping into the void

the wind rushing by
the sensation of falling
the vast view on the Alentejo landscape below

and when the fall slows down 
almost floating
the silence 
and a sudden deep sense of joyful peace 

The slight air of condescending mockery on the experienced skydivers’ faces had turned into a nod of mutual understanding when I next saw them after we were all back on the ground. I knew that i was ready to go again.

I jumped into the void and i liked it. Do you know, I might be a bird in my next life.

Photos: 
Fujifilm xt-3
- Guimarães, Portugal, 2024
- Galle, Sri Lanka, 2024

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A couple of suggestions:

• In the latest edition of his Darkrooms Magazine, Marcel Borgstijn presents 22 projects by photographers who have a Substack newsletter (‘the photostack edition’). I’m very pleased to be included in this impressive and diverse collection. You can get a copy or read it online.

• Keeping lists of books to read and films to watch sometimes has the paradoxal effect of preventing me from actually diving into them — a bit like having tons of delicious food in the fridge but still ending up with takeout… Neil Scott’s article about Tish Murtha turned out to be the nudge that got me to watch the film about the life and work of this strong photographer. I believe that everyone should see this moving tribute to a working class hero. Tish Murtha’s images are powerful and deserve to be known and celebrated — they are good for the soul. The film is available on BBC iPlayer and AppleTV, and there are a couple more options linked here: tishmurtha.co.uk/tish.html

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Thank you for reading the Tales of Ink and Light. I’ll be back in your inbox next week